so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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