ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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