dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
