wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just tell him i said nine months
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
