we have officially lost it.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
