sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
