I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
