So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
