I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
