They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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