I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
