Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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