thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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