We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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