look no pants
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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