I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
