wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
