She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
