Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
