Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
