You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
