There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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