Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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