we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
