Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
