Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
