this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
