so explain again why im purple
no
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
