I'm really into asian looking animals
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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