At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
