Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
