The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
