i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
