My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
