he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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