Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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