you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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