We won't sleep together?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
