i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
