the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
