We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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