Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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