She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
