OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
