imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
