So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
