we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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