I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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