Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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