The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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