Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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