North Korea, Best Korea!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
