I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
