Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need to calm my uterus...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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